


Cannibal Kunoichi Ramen

by EvilFuzzy9



Series: Cannibal Kunoichi [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Blonde, Cannibalism, Cooked Alive, Dubious Ethics, Gen, Large Breasts, Mutilation, Necrophilia, Object Insertion, Objectification, Oiroke no Jutsu | Sexy no Jutsu, Other, Ramen, Snuff, Vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:00:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3851869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilFuzzy9/pseuds/EvilFuzzy9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically exactly what it says on the tin. A rather dark little fetish one shot about four blonde kunoichi becoming a very special kind of ramen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cannibal Kunoichi Ramen

**Author's Note:**

> While not the most fucked up or WTF thing I've ever written, this is still a fic fetishizing snuff and cannibalism. While the author is well aware of the distinction between fantasy and reality, and why it is never a good idea to mix the two, he also understands that some people might not appreciate that difference. 
> 
> So if you are liable to be offended, outraged, or disgusted by this, then this is your last warning to turn back and read something else. This is a niche-as-hell fetish fic for people with very specific kinks.

The lots were drawn. The choice was made.

Dinner would be served.

On a private balcony in Konoha, with a clear view of the Hokage Monument, twelve women of varying ages and nationalities were standing around the empty cup from which they had drawn their sticks. They were, all of them, dressed in tight bikinis, tiny and revealing, as part of the event.

Kin Tsuchi and Tayuya, kunoichi of the Hidden Sound were there, looking a mixture of mischievous and relieved. The former wore a purple one piece with a dip down the front that showed a modest hint of her pale, luscious cleavage. Long, silky hair cascaded down her back in smooth obsidian waves, the tip of it all tied up with a purple ribbon; Kin's soft ebony tresses went down past her thighs, delightfully framing her nicely rounded glutes.

Tayuya herself wore a much smaller bikini of an infinitesimally lighter shade than Tayuya's, contrasting with her slightly darker skin, a soft tan with no lines. The top of the redhead's bikini pushed her modest, supple breasts up and together, the scanty swatches of cloth displaying relatively generous amounts of under-boob, side-boob, and cleavage. The peaks of her nipples were distinctly evident through the thin fabric.

Also visiting the Hidden Leaf was Temari, sister of Gaara, daughter of the Fourth Kazekage. Like Kin and Tayuya, her swimsuit was of a purple shade, but leaning more towards a grayish hue. Her fairly advanced figure, for her age, was perfectly displayed by her bikini, which accented the decidedly womanly shape of her body. She was scowling darkly at the red-painted tip of her stick, which marked her as one of tonight's "volunteers".

The remaining nine kunoichi were all Konoha natives, and all dressed in similar fashions to their foreign friends. To describe in full detail the loveliness of each one (and the skimpiness of their outfits!) would, I do not doubt, quickly become a very wearisome prospect for writer and reader alike, so of their fashions I will speak in only the briefest terms hereafter.

The genin Sakura and Hinata wore what had to be _uncomfortably_ tight one pieces of red and blue, respectively. In their hands they clutched uncolored sticks, which no doubt filled them with so much relief that they quite forgot the matter of their high-riding camel toes and visibly erect nipples (it was late autum, and the air was brisk).

Tenten and Ino, also present, wore modest bikinis in pink and blue. The brunette had a grin on her face, glancing at the red-tipped stick in the blonde's hand, and her eyes were glinting with obvious mischief. Ino herself looked rather irritable, and she glowered darkly at the offending object.

A few jonin were here as well, by the by: Shizune, Anko, and Kurenai. The first wore a tight black bikini, smiling softly and holding her pet pig, Tonton, in her arms. Anko wore a skimpier bikini of tan, close-nit mesh, scarce better than going naked. And Kurenai wore a swimsuit that was basically a glorified, red, V-shaped strap which only _barely_ covered her nipples and private parts.

The last two members of this party were Naruto "Naruko" Uzumaki in his sexy jutsu form, and the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade of the Senju. They were dressed in orange and silver, respectively, and both clutched sticks with red tips.

It seemed that fate either really hated, or really _liked_ , buxom blonde kunoichi.

"I should have known this would happen..." Tsunade sighed, shaking her head wearily. She ran a hand through her hair. "Drawing lots is basically gambling, after all..."

Naruko was chalk white, staring at her stick.

"C-Can we have a redo?" 'she' weakly suggested, feeling vulnerable in a way that had _nothing_ to do with her state of dress.

"It was your idea, Naruto," Sakura replied primly, crossing her arms under her chest. She had actually grown a modest amount since Tsunade's inauguration one year ago, and her bust seemed roughly Tenten's equal.

Not that this was saying much.

Tayuya put her hands on her hips and sneered.

"What's this?" she said. "You scared of a little dip? Pinky's right, you know. This was YOUR idea."

Naruko blushed intensely.

"But—I—that is—I didn't think _I_ would be chosen!" she whined. "I _never_ lose at this sort of thing!"

"Who says you lost?" drawled Anko, a most salacious grin on her face. "You love ramen more than any of us, after all."

"That doesn't mean I want to BECOME ramen!" Naruko protested, extremely flustered.

Kin laughed, and grabbed Naruko's shoulder.

"Rules are rules," she said, licking her lips. "We drew lots to see who would become dinner, and you four simply got the short end of the stick." She pulled, then, and began dragging Naruko toward the centerpiece of the day's event.

"No, please!" Naruko protested. "I don't wanna! You can't make me!"

Shizune giggled, and flounced along after her adoptive little 'sister'.

"Don't worry!" she chirped. "Think of it like taking a nap in the hotsprings."

Tsunade gave her apprentice a peevish look. "You just want to see us cooked, don't you?" she quipped.

Shizune smiled.

She did not deny it.

* * *

It was... a _curious_ tradition, to say the least; an old Senju ritual, apparently meant to bless the clan head's rule. Hashirama himself had used it once, and Tobirama also. Both had, relatedly, enjoyed very successful (if not particularly _long_ ) terms as Hokage.

The meaning behind the ritual, and its origins, were quite lost to the mists of time. Some speculated that it was a remnant from darker times, a relic of famine and plague in far off years. Others suggested that it was meant as a symbolic gesture, centering around the idea that just as the clan leader was expected to support and empower his or her followers, so too was the rest of the clan expected to give up their lives to protect their leader if necessary.

And a humble few simply muttered that the Senju, for all their talk of peace and harmony, were messed up freaks with highly twisted tastes. Most such talk could, of course, be traced back to the Uchiha and their allies, back before Itachi happened to the clan.

Whatever the case, the fact of the matter still stood. After the first year of a Senju clan leader's rule, it was traditional to make a very special kind of ramen.

A ramen that most places would declare illegal.

_Human_ ramen.

Tradition did not make any specific statements on the matter of gender, but within the Senju clan it had long been agreed that females worked best. Allegedly, this was because male shinobi (outside the Akimichi clan) almost universally had very low body fat percentages, and were thus very tough and gamey. Kunoichi, in contrast, (especially among the Senju...) usually had curiously high ratios of body fat in very specific areas (most especially around the chest region) and generally had meat that was just much tenderer and juicier.

_Allegedly_.

Most likely, however, it had something more to do with the fact that humans cooked best naked, and All Men Are Perverts.

Whatever the case, Naruto had stumbled across this little tidbit while reading up on village history. Normally the blond would not have gone anywhere near a library, but he'd been under extreme duress. A disgruntled Sakura had finally forced her mind bogglingly _ignorant_ teammate to pick up a book, tired of having to explain EVERY LITTLE THING to him.

Naruto was not very bright, you see.

He was, however, a very big fan of ramen. VERY big.

Old Teuchi's stand had been on the verge of going bankrupt before the Hokage first took Naruto there. Now the ramen chef enjoyed a very lucrative business, and a sizable percentage of his income came directly from Naruto's coinpurse.

Because Naruto really liked ramen. It was quite unhealthy, honestly, how much of the stuff he ate, but everytime someone had tried to make him cut back, they'd mysteriously vanished, and right around the same time Teuchi would release a limited time offer on his special Soylent Ramen.

So it was only natural that, with his love of the stuff, Naruto would immediately pick up on the mention of a certain special _tradition_ among the Senju clan while skimming through a chapter on the founding families of Konoha. And, being inquisitive enough in his own thick-headed way, Naruto immediately decided to go ask Tsunade about it.

"Hey, Granny!" the blond Uzumaki hollered, storming excitedly into the Fifth Hokage's office. "Let's have ramen!"

Tsunade looked up blearily from the papers she had been 'working' on, and she scowled at Naruto. She was slouching over her desk, resting a painfully large bosom amidst mission reports and requisition forms.

"Ramen?" she said a hint testily. Her eyes narrowed infinitesimally. "I'm busy. Go ask someone else. Hell, I'll even order Sakura to go with you, if you just leave _now_."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest with a childish harrumph.

"Sakura-chan doesn't know how to make the ramen I want," he said stubbornly, a strange glint in his eyes.

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow at Naruto.

"The ramen you want?" she said, frowning in annoyance. Why was he bugging her about this? "Can't you just go to Ichiraku's, or something?"

"They can't make this kind of ramen," Naruto said cryptically. "The recipe is a secret."

"And you can't _tell_ them?" Tsunade replied, irritably massaging her temples. She was too tired for this shit. If she weren't, she would have wondered how Naruto had come by a 'secret' recipe. She was pretty sure the brat couldn't cook. He'd probably burn WATER.

"I don't know the recipe," Naruto said.

A vein throbbed in Tsunade's forehead.

Of course. The brat didn't know the recipe. _Obviously._

"Then go find someone who _does_ ," Tsunade growled.

"I did," was Naruto's all-too-innocent reply, "But she won't listen, and keeps telling me to go away."

"Then I'll _order_ her to make the ramen for you," said the Fifth Hokage. "I promise! Anything to get you out of my hair."

The boy was too damn distracting to have in the office. She would never get her work done if he was here, and then later Shizune would nag her about _living up to her responsibilities_ , and unless she killed the girl Tsunade would never hear the end of it. And Tsunade could never kill Dan's last surviving relative.

Not on purpose, at least.

Naruto beamed at Tsunade. There was a victorious glint in his eye.

Tsunade had an inkling that she knew what this meant, and she repressed the urge to curse herself.

"I didn't know you could give _yourself_ orders, Granny!" And then the smug little bastard proceeded to _laugh_ at her.

Tsunade groaned.

She already knew what kind of ramen he meant.

* * *

The tub was shaped like a massive cauldron, and it was cast from heavy black iron. The sides held a rough, almost pebbled texture, though they were presently FAR too hot to touch with your bare hands.

A fragrant, mouth-watering aroma wafted up from the bubbling broth. Steam rose up into Naruko, Tsunade, Ino, and Temari's faces; it was scaldingly hot, and Naruko and Ino visibly winced.

Right now the ramen was nothing but boiling water and miso. Meat would be the first thing to be added, because it was the ingredient that would take the longest to cook.

"Is this _really_ a Konoha tradition?" Temari wondered aloud with a grimace, looking down at what was seeming increasingly likely to be the last bath she would ever take.

"A Senju tradition, technically," sighed Tsunade, seeming less perturbed than Temari. "But it was performed by both the First and Second Hokage after their inaugurations, so it might as _well_ be a Konoha tradition."

Ino stared balefully at the water that was boiling in the voluminous cauldron.

"Should Tsunade-sama really be one of the people getting cooked, though?" she queried. "I thought this was supposed to BLESS her reign, not _end_ it."

"It's not unprecedented for the clan head to be picked," said Tsunade. "Though in such cases they usually only _soak_ for a while to give the broth flavor."

"Why can't we all do that?" asked Naruko, looking worried. "Just soak in the water and get out?"

Tsunade was quiet for a moment.

"...that rule only ever applied to MALE heads, though..." she belatedly murmured. "Women who were picked always got cooked."

Sakura looked a little torn between watching with glee and moving to assist her mentor.

"That sounds kind of sexist, doesn't it?" she murmured.

Surprisingly enough, it was Hinata who replied to this comment.

"Not really," the girl said. "Or... not _entirely_ , at any rate... Male ninja were usually treated as expendable on the battlefield, where kunoichi were usually protected, if they were fielded at all. This was a way of balancing that, and letting kunoichi serve the clan in a way other than rearing children."

Sakura stared blankly at the one-piece-clad Hinata.

Hinata blushed beet red.

"...the Hyuuga might have some similar traditions to the Senju..." she quietly admitted.

"They do?" said Sakura. "What kinds?"

And so those two began a conversation of their own, talking and comparing mindsets and rituals of the Hyuuga and the Senju, and discussing also how they related or contrasted with the general mores and beliefs of non-shinobi.

Meanwhile, things were heating up back with the chosen ramen-girls. Tayuya and Tenten were not particularly gentle in their manhandling of Temari, who was visibly reluctant to get into the pot. They took a visible pleasure at the discomfort on the Sand kunoichi's face, feeling perhaps a sense of vindictive satisfaction as they half-dragged and half-shoved the beautiful wind mistress up to the cauldron's brink.

"Ah! Shit!" Temari let out a hiss, the cast iron sides of the tub incredibly hot against her skin. "Ow, watch it. That burns!"

Tenten had a finger slipped under the hem of Temari's bikini bottom, and she teased at it, tugging backwards and downwards on the fabric. The blonde Suna nin blushed hotly at this, wincing and squirming. She was pinned between two vengeful kunoichi and a very hot cauldron of boiling water.

"Can it, bitch," Tayuya drawled, leering at Temari and grabbing a handful of the girl's boobs. She leaned into Temari's back, shoving her harder against the side of the pot. "You're gonna be cooked and eaten, anyways. What's the harm in searing the meat a little?"

Temari hissed, tears in her eyes, but she grit her teeth and focused on shutting out the pain. Soon enough, she could hardly even feel it.

"She already smells delicious," came the remark from Tenten, who leaned close in to Temari and licked the Suna kunoichi's cheek. "I can't _wait_ to gobble her up. So tasty❤"

Temari's blush deepened.

Tayuya smirked, and the next thing Temari knew she was tumbling headfirst – and _naked_ – into the boiling soup.

Ino was windmilling her arms and legs in a futile attempt to free herself. She spat a blue streak of vivid curses at Anko and Kin, the former of whom was holding her over the pot, and the latter of whom had cut her bikini off.

"Dammit! You can't do this to me! What the hell? I thought this was just some kind of joke!" Ino hollered, so enraged that she didn't even try to cover up her nakedness. She was glaring hatefully at Anko, who simply chuckled and leered at the blonde's nicely developing breasts. "Don't even THINK about dropping me in that pot, damn you!"

Kin smirked, and crossed her arms under her chest.

"Really?" she said. "Because you seem pretty _eager_ for it, if you ask me." A pointed glance at erect nipples, and a visibly wet slit. Dark eyes twinkled.

Ino seethed. Damn that Sound Village slut!

"Ahhh! You—!" the blonde snarled, her face going beet red. An incoherent stream of expletives tumbled from her mouth.

Anko looked impressed for a moment, before grinning. "Rules are rules," the elder kunoichi said simply, but there was a wicked glint in her eyes.

She lowered Ino just a tiny bit, and the blonde yelped.

That was HOT!

"Ow!" Ino hissed, kicking her feet. Her toes felt like they were on fire. "Fuuuck!"

Anko laughed – as did Kin – and dropped Ino unceremoniously into the pot.

Tsunade, in direct contrast with Ino and Temari, did not need or request any assistance. She knew the traditions of her clan better than anyone else here, and the stigma attached to bowing out of something like this would doubtlessly follow her well into the afterlife. Better to honor the old ways, and meet her forebears with pride.

Also she was maybe just a _little_ turned on at the thought of being cooked alive and eaten like nothing more than a common piece of meat to be found in any market. She was a true Senju, through and through.

"Heh, I remember when I thought I would be doing this for my little brother..." Tsunade mused to herself, reaching around to get the clasp of her bikini top. "And now here I am, cooking for my OWN term."

She shook her head, chuckling wryly.

The clasp opened with a soft _click_. Her bikini top fell to the floor.

Everyone in the room (even Temari and Ino) took a moment to appreciate the sheer SIZE of the Fifth Hokage's tits. They were absolutely gigantic, each individual mammary at least twice the size of the powerful blonde's head, and shapely areolae formed a solid base for the woman's large and puffy nipples.

Tsunade smiled, feeling the gazes on her. A moment later, her spaghetti strap bottom fell to join her top. Everyone who had already been staring licked their lips, and Tsunade gave her wide hips a nice shake and sway as she strode up and stepped over the side of the cauldron. Her thighs dimpled with the shifting of her weight, and her large doughy buttocks rippled very nicely. Moisture dripped from her cunt.

Temari and Ino, who stewed bitterly in the boiling water, blushed to see this legendary kunoichi join them in one final bath. They scooted aside, their skin rosy and raw, dutifully making room for the Hokage.

Naruko, despite being the most vehement in her refusal to cook, put up the least struggle out of her, Temari, and Ino. Perhaps it left her in a state of shock to see the other three in the boiling water, and realize that she would be joining them whether she wanted to or not.

Kurenai and Shizune stepped forward and grabbed Naruko, one holding her by either arm. The blonde did not resist them, going limp in their hands. Her eyes seemed to stare far ahead, as she gazed down at her toes; a normally bright sky blue now cool and glassy.

"Don't worry, Naruko-chan," Shizune chirped, cheerfully pinching the clasp of the sexy-jutsu'd male's bikini top. The orange cloth fell away, baring large yet perky breasts. They were rosy, colored with a healthy tan like the rest of Naruko's skin. "I'm sure you'll taste _delicious!_ "

"Yes, you have such a nice body, after all," agreed Kurenai, her voice husky. Deep red eyes drank in the sight of Naruko's bare tits, and a soft pink tongue flitted out briefly to salaciously lick plump ruby lips. One of her hands traveled south, grabbing hold of a perfectly shaped ass cheek.

Naruko shivered, blushing. She refused to look either jonin in the eye, ashamed and visibly dismayed. The blonde silently despaired of ever escaping her impending fate.

Even as Kurenai sensuously fondled Naruko's buttocks, and Shizune snapped off Naruko's bikini bottom, the young blonde knew that she was going to be cooked and eaten. As dense as she could be, she understood at least one thing about her situation: there was no way out. Even Tsunade, the _Hokage_ , had quietly accepted her fate.

Naruko was just a genin. She did not have the power to refuse this, not if even the Hokage bowed down to this obligation. And while Tsunade looked faintly bemused, she was nonetheless sitting quietly in the pot.

Waiting to be cooked.

The pair of Shizune and Kurenai easily hefted Naruko up and over the rim of the cauldron. They dunked her in.

Naruko bit her lip to keep from crying out. The water scalded her, searing her flawless skin. Her buttocks parted with a muffled PLOP as they came to a rest on the iron pot's ungodly hot bottom. It burned her anus. The nerve endings in her pussy went absolutely wild, and _not_ from pleasure.

The water bubbled and steamed, hissing and popping as it rose up Naruko's form. Her sweat mingled with the presently plain broth as it ascended the dips and curves of her gorgeous figure. Her lower body was completely submerged, save for her knees, which protruded just above the water.

There wasn't much leg room to spare.

Naruko hissed softly. Bubbles rose up between her breasts as they sank part-way into the water, a scalding foam that periodically spat burning water into her face with a subdued POP. Her tits were audibly sizzling.

She had to grit her teeth and focus all of her willpower to resist the ever-growing urge to spring out of the pot and try to flee. The looks on the faces of their observers told Naruko that they would not hesitant to do whatever it took to get her back in the tub.

_'It's so hot... I can hardly breathe,'_ Naruko thought wearily. Her vision swam a little, and she had to blink her eyes several times to clear it up. Rising steam scalded her nostrils, burned at her eyes.

Tears welled up and dripped down Naruko's cheeks, as much in a physical response to the heat as in expression of her growing despair. Her lungs had trouble expanding and contracting, the boiling water doing all kinds of unpleasant things to her body.

Pain was constant, at first. It was bad enough that Naruko found herself drifting in and out consciousness, initially, the excruciating burning sensation of her flesh being cooked very nearly overwhelming her poor, overtaxed brain. Almost she wanted to just get it over with after only a few seconds, in the throes of agony longing for the sweet release of death.

But the minutes ticked away, and the searing pain seemed to become less obvious. Were she more anatomically informed, Naruko might have assumed this as evidence of her nerve-endings getting gradually burned out. As it was, she was just grateful for the reprieve. The pain seemed far off, now, and dull, in some way nearly separate from Naruko herself.

* * *

Time passed. The girls cooked.

Her arms and legs tingled numbly. Naruko saw how red they had become, and there were a few small brownish patches on her fingers and toes. Her nipples were disgorged, and a thick yellowish-white grease drifted in the broth near her breasts, which seemed to leak in some way. Liquefied fat bubbled up through the pores in Naruko's skin.

Her flesh sizzled, boiling in the water.

Dimly aware, the blonde chanced a glance toward the other three. She felt drowsy, and could hardly focus on her surroundings. Her body felt heavy, and her muscles felt weak – too weak, indeed, to support her weight, had most of her body not been submerged in the water. Only the inherent grit of a shinobi enabled her to maintain awareness, even as much of her body was shutting down.

Naruko glanced at Tsunade, Ino, and Temari.

Tsunade met her gaze with a weak smile. She was slumping heavily into the broth. A stray fishcake clung to her right breast, which looked much abused by the boiling water. Bits of chopped and diced vegetables floated around them, between them.

And when had noodles been added to the soup? Naruko would have shaken her head, if she'd felt like she had the strength for it.

Yet despite her own weakness, and weariness, Naruko perceived that Tsunade was even worse off. The woman's eyes were cloudy, and her head listed weakly to one side. The broth was thick with fat from her tits, which were visibly deflated from their once magnificent size. Naruko winced in a sympathetic twinge of pain, seeing the Hokage's ruined bosom.

Tsunade's skin was discolored – or else perhaps colored more fully, one might say. For much of her skin was deeply ruddy, presumably from broken blood vessels, and there was even a minimal degree of browning. Her nipples were swollen and disgorged in the soup, and her flesh looked extremely tender.

It took Naruko a moment of staring at Tsunade's chest to realize that it did not move. Her bosom did not rise or falll as it should have, if the woman were breathing.

Naruko felt like her heart leapt into her throat at this realization.

"G...granny...?" she asked worriedly, scarcely able to believe what her eyes were telling her. "You okay?"

It pained Naruko to speak, but she had to ask, had to know. She had to hope.

But the seconds ticked by, and Naruko got no answer. She stared disbelievingly, unable to process what she was seeing.

How much time had passed?

Naruko would have shaken her head, if she'd had the strength. She cast her eyes about the balcony, and saw several of the other girls separated off into various groups under lamps and starlight. Some were talking, others were reading, a few even played cards. A number of them had gotten dressed, but some (like Tayuya, Kin, Tenten and Kurenai) remained in their swimsuits, and a couple (namely Anko and Shizune) were completely nude.

The last two, it should be noted, were also the only ones still watching the pot. Anko had a number of sharp and intimidating-looking implements ready at hand, while Shizune stood amidst a variety of bags and extra-large cartons of ingredients.

Under other circumstances, Naruko (who was still a teenaged boy on the inside), would have been fascinated by the pair's nudity, and either stared in awe or covered her (his) eyes in fear of being punished for her (his) perversion. But as it was, Naruko did not think anything could be done to her that was WORSE than what she was already being forced to suffer through.

"You're pretty tough," remarked Anko conversationally, leering appreciatively at Naruko's well-boiled form. "The others kicked the bucket hours ago, but you're still hanging in there. Hehehe, I wonder..."

The sadistic kunoichi's eyes twinkled, and Naruko could have shivered fearfully, had her muscles been possessed of any lingering functionality. But the apparent hours of boiling had taken their toll, even on her endurance.

Naruko slipped back out of consciousness.

Anko smiled, and poked a cooking fork into the blonde's shoulder. It slid in easily, meeting almost no resistance from Naruko's flesh. When she pulled it back out a moment later, no blood followed.

"Nice and tender," Shizune observed with a smile.

"Damn well done," agreed Anko. "I'm amazed the kid's still able to function."

"Mm-hm. Tsunade chose well," said Shizune.

* * *

Meat slid easily from the bone. Sharp steel knives carved effortlessly through succulent, perfectly cooked flesh. The fragrance of the broth was rich and tantalyzing, a pre-tasting taste of the beautiful, boiled blondes.

Shizune continued adding ingredients to the stew, carefully measured and proportioned in direct accordance with the recipe Tsunade had given her. Bits of flawlessly sliced vegetables fell into the soup, droplets of hot water flying up and splattering across the rosy, tenderized forms of Ino, Temari, Tsunade, and Naruko.

The heating seals beneath the pot had been tuned down, the water now merely simmering as the final preparations were taken care of.

Anko hummed a cheerful little tune to herself as she raised one of Ino's arms from the soup.

"Very nice color," she commented, seeing how the girl's flesh had soaked up the broth. "Yamanaka-chan here looks good and juicy."

She placed a hand on Ino's opposite shoulder, gently holding the girl's limp frame in place. Gripping the girl's soft and tender bicep with her other hand, Anko carefully twisted Ino's arm.

POP.

Ino's shoulder cleanly dislocated. No strength remained in the tendons or ligaments; she would come apart all too easily.

Anko took her knife, and let Ino's body list to one side while she held the arm up. The skin stretched between arm and shoulder, and cold steel descended in a single, clean motion. A keen blade sheared apart the connective tissues, severing Ino's arm.

Letting this drop back into the broth, Anko turned and repeated this process with Ino's other arm. That, too, she let plop into the soup. Then she gripped Ino's hair, yanking the lifeless chit's head up and turning it to face her.

"What a cute little thing," Anko hummed, licking her lips. "It's almost a shame we won't get to see her all grown up. She would have been a real bombshell, I'm sure."

Then she bent her head, and stole a kiss from the dead, armless genin. There was a great deal of tongue, and Anko grew visibly aroused. For several seconds she made out hotly with the deceased teen, hands traveling downward to knead and massage Ino's modest, well-cooked tits. Hot juice squirted out over Anko's hands as she squeezed, and finally she broke the one-sided kiss.

Shizune, watching this from the corner of her eye, hummed.

"I wonder if that would have been her first?" she mused aloud, her pert and creamy bosom glistening with beads of sweat.

Anko laughed.

"No way," she said, shooting a wry look at Shizune. "Don't you know anything? Kids these days are promiscuous as hell. She's probably already done it six ways to sunday." She grabbed a big, heavy cleaver from among her instruments, setting aside the slenderer butcher knife.

Shizune blushed, and paused in the cutting of ingredients to glance down into the soup. Had the water been clear, she would have been looking straight at Ino's cunt.

"D-do you really think so...?" she stammered, her cheeks as red as tomatoes. Her nipples visibly peaked, and Shizune started hesitantly, anxiously rubbing her thighs together. A faint gleam of moisture trickled from between the lips of her own lovely pussy.

"Oh, definitely," Anko said casually, nodding. "She's probably even experimented with Sakura." She punctuated this sentence with a single chop of her cleaver, hewing the platinum blonde kunoichi's neck.

Ino's torso, now decapitated as well as armless, slumped into the broth. There was no blood from any of these cuts, the girl having been quite thoroughly cooked.

Anko grinned, then once more kissed Ino hungrily on the lips. She moaned lowly, huskily, briefly massaging her own generous breasts. She made a show of gracefully moving her hips side to side, back and forth, gyrating lewdly as she made out with Ino's head.

It was all to tease Shizune, of course, and it was in that regard a smashing success. The medic squeaked, her eyes glued onto Anko's gorgeous body, watching the sinuous, graceful movements of that perfect figure.

Blush deepening, Shizune averted her gaze.

Anko broke off the kiss and laughed.

"Why, are you jealous of Ino-chan?" she cooed huskily, brandishing the blonde's head in a manner somewhere between comical and morbid. "Shizune! I never knew you had interests like that."

A wink, and Shizune blushed even deeper.

Giggling to herself, Anko set Ino's head back down in the broth, nestling it carefully in the girl's own cleavage.

Then she wiped the cleaver, set it aside, and grabbed another knife.

"What does the recipe say about guts?" Anko idly inquired, glancing hungrily over the lovely, delectable forms of Naruko, Tsunade, Temari, and Ino.

Shizune paused for a moment, rifling through a handful of papers. Finally, she found what she was looking for and held it up. Reading the slip, she said:

"They can either be left in or removed. After all, we DID all have rather thorough..." She blushed. "...'cleaning' sessions before we drew lots."

Anko hummed, looking pensive.

"I remember," she said fondly, a twinkle of mischief in her eye. "I remember the look on your face when they shoved that hose up your ass. It wasn't even that big, but the way you were talking..."

Shizune squeaked, and stared abashedly at her feet.

"Let's just finish preparing them, shall we?" she suggested, her voice a hint shrill.

Anko laughed, and spun the knife in her hand.

"Sure, sure," she said, giving Shizune one more wink, before turning back to the matter at hand.

* * *

Temari's cunt looked delicious. The lips were a golden bronze, perfectly shaped and tender. Her insides, no doubt once beautifully pink and silky, were the color of stewed beef, a deliciously uniform light brown. Without a doubt, her pussy would be delicious.

Tayuya, kunoichi of the Sound, smiled darkly as she took over for Shizune. The lovely medic thanked Tayuya for the reprieve, and with a blush and a giggle followed after a roguishly winking Anko, whose place was taken by the young weapons mistress Tenten.

The redhead watched Shizune wriggle her hips, sashaying excitedly after Anko to a far edge of the balcony. Her pussy was visibly moist, and her nipples were erect. Anko was looking similarly aroused.

"Kinky," said Tenten, off to Tayuya's side. "I didn't know Shizune-san was into that kind of thing."

Tayuya nodded absentmindedly, watching as Anko retrieved a number of toys that looked a good deal more menacing than any of the cooking implements she had been using.

"I wonder if she knows what she's getting herself into?" the feisty flautist mused, before reaching around back to the clasp of her bikini top.

The rules for preparing this ramen were VERY specific. Apparently it was tradition for all who worked with the 'ingredients' to do so in the nude, and Tsunade's instructions had been very clear on this matter.

So Tayuya stripped down, and Tenten did likewise.

The redhead licked her lips, feeling a shiver run down her spine. Steam from the simmering stew wafted up, tendrils of hot vapor curling around her naked form. Translucent, amorphous fingers traced the subtle curvature of Tayuya's feminine figure, brushing her nipples, her wet slit, her firmly rounded buttocks.

Tenten raked her eyes appraisingly up and down Tayuya's now-naked form. She seemed to greatly appreciate what she saw. And Tenten was quite attractive herself, Tayuya had to admit, with modest, pert breasts and a tight little ass. Her cunt was dripping enticingly, and the peaks of her nipples seemed to beg for plenty of biting and pinching.

"Not bad," Tayuya drawled, crossing her arms under her bust. "You could've made for some nice meat yourself."

Tenten quirked an eyebrow, and cocked her hips to one side. She smiled, glancing sidelong at the nude, boiled body of Temari.

"Really?" she said. "I don't think my tits are nearly fat enough to cook. Not like hers." She gestured disdainfully toward the young wind mistress of Suna. "That cow could feed a village."

Tayuya grinned. She had no warm feelings for Temari, and the apparent grudge this Leaf lass had against the blonde warmed the tomboyish redhead's heart.

"Mm, you're right about that," the flautist conceded. "There's hardly a person here who would've cooked better than those four sluts."

Tenten's eyes flashed. "Tsunade-sama is not a slut," she bit out sharply. "She is a liberated modern woman."

Tayuya delicately arched her eyebrows.

"Oh? Then what does that make the rest of them?" she asked.

"Sluts," replied Tenten, her meaning clear. Her eyes were glued firmly on Temari.

Tayuya laughed.

"Fair enough," she said. "I bet that fan bitch has taken it in every hole she's got." The redhead leered, and her hand dipped into an adjacent bag. She fished out a large and intimidatingly phallic daikon radish.

"She could probably even take something like that," Tenten observed, her eyes glinting with vindictive mischief.

Tayuya smiled viciously.

"Meat is good, but you need vegetables too," she said meaningfully. "A balanced diet is important for a kunoichi. Or else you might end up like those cows in the ramen." She tossed the radish up and down.

Tenten, a little curiously, did not object to Tsunade being called a cow. Instead, she smirked and grabbed Temari's legs. The blonde was half-floating, a thick mass of noodles supporting part of her weight. She was on her belly, face-down in the broth.

"She could do with a good stuffing," the brunette agreed, leering at Temari's asshole and cunt.

She spread the dead blonde's legs, and lifted a little. The meat was quite hot, and it reddened Tenten's hands with a minor burning, but she did not let go until she had tugged Temari's nether regions up and over the rim of the cauldron. The blonde's legs draped limply over the sides, wetly slapping the hot, pebbled iron. Thick broth, golden brown and delectably fragrant, dripped down to the floor from her skin.

Tayuya smirked, and stepped forward. Rudely, she slapped a hand sharply on Temari's tender, well-cooked ass. Big, round buttocks rippled violently from the impact, and hot juice spurted out all over the redhead's front. If she noticed it, though, she did not seem to mind.

Tenten watched with glee as Tayuya trailed her hand down, brushing her fingers over Temari's supple, mouth-watering thighs, before bringing the tips to rest over the girl's labia. The blonde's nether lips parted with a squelch, thoroughly soaked with broth. Tayuya held Temari's pussy open, baring the tender, juicy insides of her cunt.

The redhead's other hand brought the radish up. It was a tremendous, impressive specimen, long and thick, at its narrowest point nearly as wide around as Tayuya's wrist.

"I wonder what the biggest dick she ever took was?" said Tayuya idly, smirking as she pressed the radish up to Temari's cunt. She was quiet for a moment, before chuckling. "Heh. Well, this is probably bigger."

Tenten nodded in agreement, rubbing her mildly burned hands in anticipation.

Tayuya grinned savagely, and she rammed the radish home. Even boiled to a point where her meat could have been sliced up with naught but a blunted butter knife, Temari's pussy strained against the intrusion. Her legs slapped the sides of the pot, her ass bouncing generously. The girth of the formidable daikon radish caused Temari's cunt to rip like skinny jeans on an Akimichi.

The blonde's pelvis audibly CRACKED, and it took Tayuya three super-powered shoves to get the vegetable stuffed a sufficient distance up Temari's pussy. But she did get it in, and Temari's fatty, tenderized buttocks quivered like gelatin for several long seconds after the pushing finally stopped. Hot juice dripped down over the exposed portion of the radish.

"That's a good look for her," said Tenten, reveling in sweet vengeance at getting to see that bitch handled in so debasing a manner.

"It is, isn't it?" Tayuya mused, leering at Temari's still-jiggling buttocks. "This is probably the only thing that slut would have ever been good for."

She gave Temari's ass another smack, and Tenten laughed.

"I hope you have fun sucking cock in hell, bitch!" she crowed, stepping up and giving Temari a SMACK of her own.

Then she held up a truly massive carrot, and winked at Tayuya. The redhead smirked, and parted Temari's violently wobbling ass cheeks.

And the only mercy in what followed was that Temari was no longer alive to feel it.

* * *

The presentation was exquisite, all of the girls agreed

Hinata was enraptured by the sight of Naruko's body, and how it had been prepared. She blushed deeply to see her crush wrapped up in noodles such as to imitate bedroom shibari, naruto fishcakes like pasties placed atop ruined and swollen nipples.

Sakura ogled her mentor's tits, lopped off and thinly sliced, lateral cross-sections of the once voluminous mammaries lined up in a lewd display. Shizune licked her lips, salivating over Tsunade's great meaty ass and perfectly stewed cunt.

Ino's body was like a work of abstract art, one arm each shoved up her anus and pussy, a decapitated head resting between her own breasts. Her belly was bulging with stuffing, a ground-up blend of legs, herbs, and bread crumbs.

Temari was perforated with vegetables of every breed, size, and shape; every orifice nature granted her was split open, stuffed with an excessively large root or tuber – and in other spots the vegetables were simply stabbed into her flesh, or shoved up newly-cut sphincters.

It was a morbid, deliciously grotesque spectacle. The ramen smelled perfectly wonderful.

They ate it all, savoring very last bite. Not a scrap of the four blondes remained, by the time the girls were done feasting. Not nipple nor hair remained of Ino, Naruko, Temari, or Tsunade when the meal was over, and even the very last dregs of broth were greedily sucked down by the ravenous survivors – those lucky girls who'd bet their lives and won.

They ought to have been proud, those four blondes, wherever they were in the afterlife.

They made a truly first class kunoichi ramen.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was loosely based on a request from a reader whose name I can't recall. That, and a picture by Canime -- "Blond Kunoichi Ramen", or something to that effect. Originally I'd posted it to one of the past gurochans in installments, but I hit a writer's block at the end of the Temari stuffing scene ages ago and hadn't touched it since then. 
> 
> Until today, at least. Maybe I'd once intended to add more, but hell, this story's already pretty good and long. Longer than most of my longest one shots, in fact.


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